Can you guess what every woman wants this holiday season? For her birthday? Anniversary? Any other special occasion?
“I Just Don’t Know What She Wants…”
~ Every Man Shopping on Christmas Eve
I used to work at a gift shop, years ago. I remember vividly…Christmas Eve would arrive. All was quiet. The stores were empty. The shoppers that had bustled about during previous weeks were now at home–wrapping, tidying up and cooking.
And then…like clockwork, the men would appear. About 1pm, it looked like Black Friday in our shop. Desperate for a gift–any gift–I would happily tell stories about artwork and jewelry, specialty clothing and tabletop decor–and it would sell like hotcakes. They would all say the same thing, “I didn’t mean to wait so long…I just don’t know what she wants.“
Now that I’m a wife, a mother…I think back about those shoppers. Poor guys. If only they’d known then what I know now. You know what every woman wants this holiday season?
Step One: Pay Attention.
One year, I sent my husband emails and texts with links to actual products I wanted. From Amazon. He literally could have clicked “Add to Cart” and “Submit Order.” I made it that easy. One day, he said, “I just don’t know what to get you.” I explained to him that I had already sent him the details. His reply was, “Huh?”
Let me explain. My husband is a bright guy. But, he can sometimes be guilty of not paying attention to small details, probably like most well-intentioned men that struggle with gift-buying.
Ok, guys, listen up. Here’s what you can do about that…
Step Two: Know Her Love Language
My husband is a “Gifting” love language. If you don’t know what that means, please take this quiz and bookmark the site. You’re welcome. If you don’t know your significant other’s love language, finding the perfect gift will fail you every time–especially if you have opposing love languages like Scott and I do. (Scott is a really good gift giver, but I think sometimes he buys me what he *thinks* I should want, instead of the practical item I requested.)
Which one suits you? How about your other half?
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Physical touch
Figure out the love language, and the rest will be much easier. But, the last step is the most important…
Step Three: Follow Through
The best gift Scott ever got me? It was for my birthday, which happens to be right after Christmas–terrible for both gift givers and receivers. Our second-born was only a month old, and I was feeling pretty crappy about myself–in between the “very pregnant” and “not fitting into my old clothes” phase. He took me to a shopping center, told me he was taking the kids home, and to call him when I was done so he could pick me up. He said my mission was to buy myself some new clothes. Follow through. It was exactly what I needed, and he made it happen.
The other steps won’t matter if you don’t do this last part. You could know what women want, but if you skip this step, you’ll still be at a loss. MAKE IT HAPPEN. Following through might sound like a no-brainer. But, you want to guess how many gift cards I have stowed away for massages? As women, we have too much on our plates. Everyone relies on us. We put everyone in our lives before ourselves. The most important part of giving women what they want is to make sure it happens.
In order to find the perfect gift for the one you love this holiday season, use the previous steps I mentioned: Pay Attention, Know the Love Language, Follow Through–Need Examples? Click Here.
Intention Only Gets You Halfway There.
It’s not hard. Well, it might be slightly complicated. But, it’ll be a heck of a lot easier than rushing around the day before the holidays, trying to make her happy with whatever piece of decor or wrong-sized clothing you can find. And, you’ll find that you’re a lot more successful. If you want to know what women really want, it’s more than intention. You have to Pay Attention, Know Her, and Follow Through. This is the winning combination!